I'm a porno queen, me

Yep, the weirdness of the web hit me today - a couple of pervs were unwise enough to put me on their lists of contacts on Flickr. (side note: I find flickr a pain to use and haven't gone near it in awhile). I realised that yes, there are people sad enough to troll Flickr for appealing photos for their imaginations. This wouldn't be a problem, but there were a few of my darling child when she was only 2 - and I really was shocked. Looking at some of my pics through a pervert's eyes I can see how it would appeal, though. A beaming pregnant woman in a tight tank top? An adorable toddler wearing towels around her midriff and head? People lying on the grass in boob tubes clutching glasses of wine. Yeah. Family memories to me, god knows what to the next person.

It's all classified private now, sorry.

I guess we'll curtail the ol' photo posting now.

p.s. I went for acupuncture. It made me have the worst (psychological) weekend of my life. Unless that's just a a coincidence. My neighbor (we'll call her Louise) thinks the treatment made my deep feelings come rushing out of me.

Killjoy

I have done a terrible thing. I have decreed that we are not doing a massive birthday party for my daughter this year, with 50 children, a magician, a face-painter, a clown, a bouncy castle and a chocolate fountain. Which will likely be confusing for her, as pretty much everyone else we know has had one of that ilk this year. I just fail to see the value in doing that every year. What do you do for a "special" birthday if every year is an extravaganza? *

This could be an Irish phenomenon. Case in point: I met a friend's babysitter a few weeks ago, and she was about to celebrate her 21st. These parties are often as expansive, and expensive, as wedding receptions. "I don't like the massive parties," she said. "I'm just going out to dinner with 30 of my friends, and then to a club..."

Um. That sounds like a big party to me. Obviously I'm a bit of a hermit.

This is before I start telling you about the madness that accompanies events like first Communions, Confirmations, stag nights, etc. On one hand, I am firmly in the "any excuse to party" camp and love the whole party milieu, but on the other, if the point of it is to have a special day/night, you have to exercise some kind of moderation. Especially with children. I can honestly say, that after doing anything and everything to make a fuss over my first-born (so she wouldn't feel psychically maimed by having a demanding baby brother), that yes you CAN spoil a child. You are better off just trying to include them, communicate with them, and show them you love them than trying to compensate. Taking my daughter out to lunch, shopping, etc has had no effect whatsoever other than leading her to expect special treatment. Laughing at her jokes, though - she likes that a lot.

So the Irish elections are coming up, and I am shocked and horrified at the bizarre jibes and promises of Fianna Fail and Fine Gael - if they do even one of the things in office they say they will, this economy will undergo some seismic effects. It's as if they are desperate to get (or stay) in power. The debate between the sparring PMs is on tonight, which should be entertaining. Enda Kenny resembles a sort of hollow-cheeked brainy scarecrow, and you always get the feeling Bertie Ahern is just waiting to wake up from a dream where he says "Bejasus, I had a dream I was Taoiseach! Mad stuff! Get us a cup o tea, love." Apparently he spends something like 5000 Euro a week on makeup. (Presumably for all his TV appearances, unless he has a well-concealed drag queen career.)

*just fyi, we are having a family party with 3 of her little friends in attendance and I have bought pink plates, cups, ballons, streamers, Barbie bubbles and lots of presents. So I'm not completely evil.

Baby air travel

Well, the trip to Kerry had its ups and downs, but the takeaway is this: no more travelling with that baby until he is old enough to a) walk without falling down all the time and b) understand rudimentary instructions. At the moment travelling with him is like trying to manage a wild animal in captivity. It simply doesn't work. And, as we all know, babies out of a controlled environment are a lot of work for moms. So for the rest of 2007, the only trip we are planning is a few weeks in a nice big holiday flat in Sligo, which is thankfully only a short drive away - if we can do it during naptime so much the better.

We're encouraging family and friends to visit us. Trust me, it'll be better than us descending on you with our baby wrecking machine.

p.s. I had milk fever last week. Let me know if you want to hear more about this

The Rest

My visit to my doctor went well yesterday. I came clean to her about the huge amount of coffee I drink during the day and my bad habit of drinking wine at night and gave her my theory that I am in a cycle of trying to compensate for my tiredness but using stimulants and depressants to get through the day.

"Wow, that sounds like the Valley of the Dolls," she said.

Anyway, they're gonna check my blood platelets, thyroid, etc and in the meantime I'm trying to sleep more and drink less (coffee and alcohol.) And I am not going to go on Prozac, yet.

If you're not already asleep from boredom, other news is that my lovely baby is walking. It's so cute. He likes to make a clicking noise with his tongue while he does it and smiles as if he is very pleased with himself indeed.

I'm flying with the kids today to my in-laws for a visit until tuesday. I really hope I can manage to enjoy myself. You know how it is. In-laws. Things can easily go pear-shaped. Plus they have an obnoxious dog. Plus for some reason my mother-in-law keeps talking to me about women that Paul could have married. One in particular, who we see often and is extremely beautiful. What is she trying to tell me? I confuse easily. I may load some new things on my MP3 player and try to spend the weekend with Bach or Miles Davis.

Head Wreck-a-thon

OK, I have been trying to wade through the weirdness all around me lately about whether
a) I have any right to be depressed
b) I have any right to take Prozac (or whatever)
c) I really look messed up.

Re: a, I think my husband and mother have put paid to that notion. My life is great and I obviously am being retarded if I think I have a problem.
b) is harder, as it is kind of tempting. Would I feel better if I took meds? I sure would like to ditch that middle-of-a-shining-day feeling that my world is crashing down. What I would like, really, is a pill to pop whenever I start wanting to cry. Is Valium the name for that? I'll ask my doc tomorrow at the blood tests.
c) took some digital photos for a quick appraisal. On that score, OK, I think I probably am not that badly off. In a still photo it's hard to see anything...the problem is mostly in my head...(no pun intended)

I am hoping that either lack of sleep and/or anemia is the answer. After all, if our bodies are failing, our minds often follow don't they. Maybe I should say to myself, "hey, you're a size 0. That's wrong. You sleep 3-4 hours a night. That's also wrong. No wonder you are having health issues. Eat steaks!!! Go to bed after the news, not after surfing the web for hours!"