no, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth

but I suppose I may as well have, in the blogosphere. Life sure can be busy sometimes. And when it's not particularly interestingly busy, you just don't bother to blog about it. And then there are the scary times in life, where you just don't know what to say at all. Also not a great time to write about yourself online.
Anyway, will write more soon, but until then here are two poems:

We have a fridge
Smeg thas are fridge
Smeg Smeg smeg*

I am ham
I am sam
I am the jam**

*author: newly reading/writing offspring. recently learned to spell "fridge".
**same author. written Christmas 07.

Smashing

Yep, it's Halloween tomorrow and the official beginning of the fast spiral towards Christmas. I've actually already bought a few presents. It's just, every week that it gets closer things get harder and harder to do - for example, you cannot park anywhere near downtown within one month of Christmas. I'm serious. And even when you do get there, by bus, you can't even get a leg into many of the stores. It gets that crowded. I might end up making a lot of Christmas presents this year - not to be cheap, but because I might do Christmas baskets for customers of the food biz. Might as well make some extra jars of Superchocolate sauce and millions of cookies and give them away to a) not be a Scrooge b) turn my back on the compulsion to buy things and c) give myself free advertising.

Check back soon - myself and my two children will all be matching for Halloween tomorrow. I'll give you a hint: you can make pies with them. And smash them. And name bands after them...

no news is good news

Ah, it's great to have my husband working from home. When he emerges for coffee breaks, he can join the baby in the audience of my soliloquies. On Newstalk radio today, there was a woman going on and on about how she had been through this horrible trauma of taking her child swimming at a Dublin pool where they did not allow strollers. She had to (yikes) wear her one-month-old baby in a sling the whole time and (horrors) carry the changing bag too. It was sooo awkward. OK, I mock, but I too have been through this over and over again and love to bitch and moan about it.

I said to my husband, "In any other country, they would have built a pool, and said to themselves, 'we will have swim lessons here. Therefore we shall make room for strollers, and a big changing room, and build a large parking lot so that people may enjoy our pool.' But not in Ireland, oh no, they just slap it up, have loads of problems, and don't fix any of them. And that's your news for today."

"You're telling me this!" he said, beating a speedy retreat.

In the no news stakes, there can be some pretty edifying stuff. For example, the Minister for Defence told someone to F off in the pub last week, and we spent two whole days talking about that on the news. He even went on the radio himself, claiming the person gave him a hard time about the latest government fiasco and that he told them to "bunk off, or something." Thanks for clearing that up, Minister.

good old Heidelberg

I just got back from a trip to my old hometown, Heidelberg, Germany. My old friends and I had a little reunion during the Herbst festival - an amazing event where the entire Medieval town of Heidelberg comes alive with bands, sausages, and all kinds of interesting things. I went alone, and boy was it weird to be without my two babies. Enjoyed it though. Also drank beer, which I have totally stopped doing since I left Germany, as it is just not as good.

Look at the nice underwear you can get there: (sorry it's sideways)

markets and me

My day at the farmer's market on Friday was pretty good...sort of. It was another slow day at the market, but a couple of good things happened: I had customers just walk up to my stall and buy like, 6, and go. I didn't have to have a big chat about explaining ice cream sandwiches at all. Someone also came in looking for me - she said she heard the sandwiches were incredible. So I rate it as a good day.

I might change markets though. As much as I enjoy the one I'm in, it is sooo quiet. I think I'd make a lot more money at one of the outdoor weekend ones where there's lots of falafels and crepes, and kids running around. I have to keep reminding myself, the markets are not the end of the story though - hopefully I will get into a shop somewhere, someday. Or a restaurant. Or something.

My baby yelled "Daddy! Gimme!" today. I think it was his most articulate moment yet.

Beautiful

I have a sick fascination with celebrity chefs. The Irish answer to Nigella Lawson - a lovely, demure blonde woman who cooks things like jam tarts and chorizo omelets on TV for all of our edification - was on the cover of our TV guide last week. My husband, to wind me up, said, "I reckon you cook better than she does." I shouted, "I bet I do! And she knows it! Look, she basically follows me around and copies everything I do." I based this comment on the fact that she was wearing jeans, converses, a cardigan and a scarf in the photo. Hello? I do watch her show. Also, I know someone who claims her as a close friend. Hopefully I'll meet her soon and can blog about that.

I'm currently ensconced on the couch watching Jamie (Oliver) at Home, cooking a bizarre chicken thigh-potato-tomato-rocket casserole, that I might have to try over the weekend. Feeling really out of the blogging loop. My internet connectivity died a while ago and I failed miserably to resurrect it until now. Turns out it was the wireless transmitter...if you're interested.

I put my back out just before launching Beautiful Ice Cream Sandwiches. Hub had to "roadie" for me my first 2 markets, but it was totally worth it, as I sold out to my enthusiastic customers. People who know me are full of requests for parties and the like. It's great, but I hope that someone who does NOT know me asks me to cater eventually - that will be a major milestone. Although, a woman at the market did ask me if I would do her daughter's wedding - which is kind of Yay and kind of Yikes. I gotta work out how I would execute that one.

back to school

Going on vacation just before starting school/starting a new business is probably not really a good idea. I just did it; it wasn't so bad for the school part (I made sure we had all uniform components and books beforehand) but the fact I am launching a business on Friday has had me really losing my mind.

For some reason I decided to get Ye Olde Irish Country Printers to do my banner and biz cards, since, oh, I was on hols out in the sticks and they'd probably be cheaper. Well. I don't know about cheaper (not having solicited quotes) but they were super friendly and fun, and, late. I'm back home and still have nothing to show. Fate is now in the hands of couriers. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

I made my initial batch of ice cream sandwiches tonight - the kids' one. Gooey chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream, shaped like stars. Heart-shaped white chocolate and raspberry I'll do tomorrow, and the carmelized Brazil nut ones Wednesday, I think. Thursday I'll bake random nice-looking cookies to sell non-frozen for the non-ice cream oriented ones among us. I think I'll do giant chocolate chunk and jam tart cookies.

Also: need to buy display basket. Napkins. Bags. Go to bank and get loads of change. (how much? No idea. I'm guessing I sell about, oh, three ice cream sandwiches the first day so maybe my own change jar will do.)

Starting a business is kind of obnoxious!

brain on ice

Yes, well, all five of you are probably wondering why I haven't been posting. This is gonna sound bizarre, but it's because I am starting a business in about a month. No, it's nothing to do with marketing. Nor technology. It's... Ice Cream Sandwiches!

I've been spending all my free time slaving over the hot freezer trying to perfect my cookie recipes, freezing techniques, and decorating fu. Also ringing my long-suffering graphic designer brother over my precious logo. And surfing the web looking for the perfect collapsible catering table. Etc.

The fun begins September 7, when I make my fabulous debut at our local farmer's market. Will the people shopping for gourmet cheese, vegetables, fresh bread and jam be interested in fancy organic ice cream sandwiches? I sure hope so.

Hub is complaining that he is going to get fat. Little girl is complaining that I won't let her have enough of them. In-laws expecting me to win the local Millionaire Mom competition (don't ask.) I think I'll be celebrating if I sell more than ten.

Back soon. x

Conversations with babies (5)

Overheard during recent toy wrangling incident:



5 year old: Give me that.

Baby: Aaargh!!

5 year old: You think you can have everything! Well you're wrong. You think you can have all the toys. You think you can have mommy all the time. Well, she's not just your mommy. She's EVERYBODY'S mommy!

party like you're 19

To celebrate the end of breastfeeding (read: taking advantage of the fact that husband can now get up with baby) I went out on the tear last night. Firstly, I went out to dinner with about 10 of my favorite people in a really nice restaurant. By the time we left everybody was in extremely high spirits, so we went on to a nightclub where our gay friends got us in for free, without queueing.

I spent the rest of the evening dancing with myself and my new gay friends. I didn't realise there were straight people around until the end of the night when two different guys came up to me and said something like "you look good" or "how's it going" (my memory is a little fuzzy) and then taking hold of me and trying to kiss me on the spot. I was like, nooo! what?!

The gay lads informed me this is the norm on the club scene these days. I guess, thinking about it, since the night is over and everybody is herding out the door, you have nothing to lose, eh? Makes sense. Took me by surprise though.

I got home after 4. My lovely stapless green silk dress got a bit dirty, but I don't mind.

A OK

Well, I went to see the dragon lady of neurology on Monday, and she was uncharacteristically chipper.

"So! How are you doing?" she asked, fluffing her cardingan and peering over her reading glasses.

I said, "Fine. Great. I had my MRI two weeks ago. That went well, I think." Which was completely asinine, really, as how can an MRI go well? I guess I was patting myself on the back for not moving a muscle for half an hour. I remember apologizing to the technician for swallowing, which turned out was fine. What a relief.

Anyway, it went well in a more real sense, as it showed that everything was just fine. So I guess I won't have to go back there again. And I can stop being paranoid about having assorted neurological disorders.

I arrived home in fine fettle, at which point I checked my email...and discovered that my tax bill is exorbitant. So exorbitant, in fact, that if (big if) I can figure out how to pay it, I will be coping with repayments for years to come. Word to the wise: don't liquidate annuities. It's charged a LOT more than capital gains.

So I am happy, in that I am not overly happy. (Thanks, Guildenstern.)

will the real Small Baby please stand up

so, since I am currently in the habit of posting FAScinating things that inspire a vast amount of correspondence, the latest is that my Baby (age 1 year and some weeks) has now started doing things like:
- push chair over to fridge. Climb up on chair. Open fridge. Climb inside. Throw glass jars on floor
- climb on toilet. Catapult self into bathtub
- throw whatever can grab (unopened mail, Barbies, mommy's sunglasses) into a) toilet b) bathtub c) trash

very exciting

I'm sitting in the dining room hosting a play date. Two five year olds are screeching and the baby keeps crying, either at them or at random. He missed his nap. I'm impressed I can string a sentence together right now... Rain is coming down in sheets outside, but the upside of all this rain is, my lawn sure is green. And my flowers are really growing nicely, even the impossible sweet peas.

Not sure why I am bothering to write a blog right now. I guess when my mom was here I got used to adult company in the midst of the child madness and now I have no one to talk to.

moms

My mom was here for two weeks visiting. It was great. I did all kinds of things that I never get to do, like scrape the greenfly off my roses and move my furniture around. Another pair of hands sure comes in handy. I think she had fun. Her goal was to play golf, which was not met, but she did get to go to a driving range where she was driving into a field of grazing sheep. In disbelief, she mentioned this potential hazard to the people at the driving range, who said "Oh, they'll get out of the way." And they did.

I am now in panic mode about filing my (late) US tax return. I could be in trouble... Also I had an MRI today which was not a happy-clappy experience. Although, I almost fell asleep during it. Something about having to remain absolutely still for a long period of time kind of makes me shut down I guess. But I'm glad I went for it. I asked the radiographer if she saw anything interesting. Her reply was, "Even if I did, I'm not allowed to tell you." Does that mean she didn't see anything of note? I guess I have to go and see the neurologist-on-high to find out. Who, incidentally, resembles a member of the Addams Family in support hose.

qi

I am struggling to understand what I may be letting myself in for in trying acupuncture. Everything I've read on the web so far basically says that acupuncture is accepted as a possibly beneficial complementary therapy, but it only works on some people, sometimes, and for a handful of conditions. I didn't run across any posts or articles that talked about episodes of fatigue and emotional upset following a session.

In case you are interested, I felt fine after my session, but after that things went rapidly downhill and I really was feeling dreadful all weekend. My exhaustion peaked, I felt really angry and I cried a few times. What is that about? Coincidence? Or does it have to do with restoring the flow of Qi?

A week later, I feel relatively normal. I am really tired right now, as that baby got me up at 5:45, but over the last 7 days I have for the most part forgotten about the Bell's Palsy. I just don't feel it every minute like I did before. I should film myself with the web cam to verify it's still there. Or...maybe I shouldn't.

The Irish elections are over and the same government has been returned to office. According to David McWilliams, Irish economist and journalist, this is simply because people want to maintain their house prices. This government orchestrated the overinflated property market and everyone wants prices to stay up; we are supposed to be at the edge of a crash, but no one believes it. How I cope: I repeat the mantra "I am not a property speculator. My financial future does not begin and end with my house." At least, I won't admit that it does.

I'm a porno queen, me

Yep, the weirdness of the web hit me today - a couple of pervs were unwise enough to put me on their lists of contacts on Flickr. (side note: I find flickr a pain to use and haven't gone near it in awhile). I realised that yes, there are people sad enough to troll Flickr for appealing photos for their imaginations. This wouldn't be a problem, but there were a few of my darling child when she was only 2 - and I really was shocked. Looking at some of my pics through a pervert's eyes I can see how it would appeal, though. A beaming pregnant woman in a tight tank top? An adorable toddler wearing towels around her midriff and head? People lying on the grass in boob tubes clutching glasses of wine. Yeah. Family memories to me, god knows what to the next person.

It's all classified private now, sorry.

I guess we'll curtail the ol' photo posting now.

p.s. I went for acupuncture. It made me have the worst (psychological) weekend of my life. Unless that's just a a coincidence. My neighbor (we'll call her Louise) thinks the treatment made my deep feelings come rushing out of me.

Killjoy

I have done a terrible thing. I have decreed that we are not doing a massive birthday party for my daughter this year, with 50 children, a magician, a face-painter, a clown, a bouncy castle and a chocolate fountain. Which will likely be confusing for her, as pretty much everyone else we know has had one of that ilk this year. I just fail to see the value in doing that every year. What do you do for a "special" birthday if every year is an extravaganza? *

This could be an Irish phenomenon. Case in point: I met a friend's babysitter a few weeks ago, and she was about to celebrate her 21st. These parties are often as expansive, and expensive, as wedding receptions. "I don't like the massive parties," she said. "I'm just going out to dinner with 30 of my friends, and then to a club..."

Um. That sounds like a big party to me. Obviously I'm a bit of a hermit.

This is before I start telling you about the madness that accompanies events like first Communions, Confirmations, stag nights, etc. On one hand, I am firmly in the "any excuse to party" camp and love the whole party milieu, but on the other, if the point of it is to have a special day/night, you have to exercise some kind of moderation. Especially with children. I can honestly say, that after doing anything and everything to make a fuss over my first-born (so she wouldn't feel psychically maimed by having a demanding baby brother), that yes you CAN spoil a child. You are better off just trying to include them, communicate with them, and show them you love them than trying to compensate. Taking my daughter out to lunch, shopping, etc has had no effect whatsoever other than leading her to expect special treatment. Laughing at her jokes, though - she likes that a lot.

So the Irish elections are coming up, and I am shocked and horrified at the bizarre jibes and promises of Fianna Fail and Fine Gael - if they do even one of the things in office they say they will, this economy will undergo some seismic effects. It's as if they are desperate to get (or stay) in power. The debate between the sparring PMs is on tonight, which should be entertaining. Enda Kenny resembles a sort of hollow-cheeked brainy scarecrow, and you always get the feeling Bertie Ahern is just waiting to wake up from a dream where he says "Bejasus, I had a dream I was Taoiseach! Mad stuff! Get us a cup o tea, love." Apparently he spends something like 5000 Euro a week on makeup. (Presumably for all his TV appearances, unless he has a well-concealed drag queen career.)

*just fyi, we are having a family party with 3 of her little friends in attendance and I have bought pink plates, cups, ballons, streamers, Barbie bubbles and lots of presents. So I'm not completely evil.

Baby air travel

Well, the trip to Kerry had its ups and downs, but the takeaway is this: no more travelling with that baby until he is old enough to a) walk without falling down all the time and b) understand rudimentary instructions. At the moment travelling with him is like trying to manage a wild animal in captivity. It simply doesn't work. And, as we all know, babies out of a controlled environment are a lot of work for moms. So for the rest of 2007, the only trip we are planning is a few weeks in a nice big holiday flat in Sligo, which is thankfully only a short drive away - if we can do it during naptime so much the better.

We're encouraging family and friends to visit us. Trust me, it'll be better than us descending on you with our baby wrecking machine.

p.s. I had milk fever last week. Let me know if you want to hear more about this

The Rest

My visit to my doctor went well yesterday. I came clean to her about the huge amount of coffee I drink during the day and my bad habit of drinking wine at night and gave her my theory that I am in a cycle of trying to compensate for my tiredness but using stimulants and depressants to get through the day.

"Wow, that sounds like the Valley of the Dolls," she said.

Anyway, they're gonna check my blood platelets, thyroid, etc and in the meantime I'm trying to sleep more and drink less (coffee and alcohol.) And I am not going to go on Prozac, yet.

If you're not already asleep from boredom, other news is that my lovely baby is walking. It's so cute. He likes to make a clicking noise with his tongue while he does it and smiles as if he is very pleased with himself indeed.

I'm flying with the kids today to my in-laws for a visit until tuesday. I really hope I can manage to enjoy myself. You know how it is. In-laws. Things can easily go pear-shaped. Plus they have an obnoxious dog. Plus for some reason my mother-in-law keeps talking to me about women that Paul could have married. One in particular, who we see often and is extremely beautiful. What is she trying to tell me? I confuse easily. I may load some new things on my MP3 player and try to spend the weekend with Bach or Miles Davis.

Head Wreck-a-thon

OK, I have been trying to wade through the weirdness all around me lately about whether
a) I have any right to be depressed
b) I have any right to take Prozac (or whatever)
c) I really look messed up.

Re: a, I think my husband and mother have put paid to that notion. My life is great and I obviously am being retarded if I think I have a problem.
b) is harder, as it is kind of tempting. Would I feel better if I took meds? I sure would like to ditch that middle-of-a-shining-day feeling that my world is crashing down. What I would like, really, is a pill to pop whenever I start wanting to cry. Is Valium the name for that? I'll ask my doc tomorrow at the blood tests.
c) took some digital photos for a quick appraisal. On that score, OK, I think I probably am not that badly off. In a still photo it's hard to see anything...the problem is mostly in my head...(no pun intended)

I am hoping that either lack of sleep and/or anemia is the answer. After all, if our bodies are failing, our minds often follow don't they. Maybe I should say to myself, "hey, you're a size 0. That's wrong. You sleep 3-4 hours a night. That's also wrong. No wonder you are having health issues. Eat steaks!!! Go to bed after the news, not after surfing the web for hours!"